In His Own Words: Cayden Onagi

Dear Men,

Let’s break the silence about men’s mental health in sports together.

In this high-pressure world of sports, where being successful and having a competitive spirit within sports often takes center stage, it is crucial to shine a spotlight on a topic that’s frequently overlooked but equally significant: men’s mental health. Being a student-athlete can be hard and the stigma around men's mental health gives athletes like me the unconscious masculine ideals that have been conditioned in myself and many other athletes: “Be a Man,” “Don’t show your emotions,” and “Don’t speak up.”

Coming from an area in Canada where lacrosse wasn't extremely popular, I had to make sacrifices to get to where I am today. I wasn’t heavily recruited out of high school and decided to go to a Community College in Bel Air, Md. where I bet on myself to make it out. After my first year, I played well but didn’t get the opportunity I felt that I deserved. This affected my mental health and was extremely hard to get back to the person I once was. 

After my second year at my community college, my dream school, University of Maryland, reached out to me and it gave me the most confidence and drive I have ever had in my life. I was motivated, proud and excited but was I still looking after my mental health? Sometimes your hard work and opportunities take center stage in your life, and we tend to forget about taking care of our mental health and our friends around us. When I first got to Maryland I thought it couldn’t get any better than this: my life was at an all-time high.

Unfortunately, I was blindsided and neglected my mental health as life hit me hard in a way I never thought I would ever go through. On March 20, one of my good friends and teammates from Canada lost his battle to mental health. 

As men, we tend to bottle everything up and never seek help as Mikah Seger alluded to in the Maryland Made podcast. After the loss of my friend, I was in a battle of my own - I had so many questions and needed guidance. I had to learn to seek help and learn to speak up. I am so lucky and grateful for the many resources that we have at UMD and my great teammates and coaching staff who will always be by your side.

As a society, we must break the silence together. There are over 6 million men who suffer from depression: nearly 1 in 10 men experience some form of depression and anxiety but less than half seek help. I am encouraging other men to talk to a teammate, talk to your family, and seek help from professionals to aid in breaking the silence. 

Our mental health matters too.