Shooting For The Moon

March 24, 2022, was a day Tafara Gapare will never forget. 

Gapare was in Maryland during his prep school year, playing for Baltimore-based Team Melo on the AAU circuit. He sat in a hotel room before answering a knock on the door. He was expecting room service. But when he opened the door, he saw someone he didn't expect to be standing in the hallway. It was his mentor, Mo Smith. 

Smith walked into the room and had Gapare and his roommate sit on the edge of their beds. He collected himself before delivering the news to the two New Zealand natives living in the United States for the first time. Kenny McFadden, a basketball legend in their home country, had passed away. 

“I was in disbelief,” Gapare said. “It felt like the whole world just dropped. I didn't know who to talk to anymore. I went into a zone and just wanted to be by myself. It got to the point where I was about to say, ‘F**k basketball’ because he was all I had.”

McFadden, a former professional basketball player in New Zealand, had coached young basketball players on the island country for over 40 years. His best friend, Terry Stallworth, estimates he was responsible for helping roughly 50 boys and girls get to the U.S. to pursue basketball careers.  

McFadden was a father figure to Gapare. He saw Gapare’s potential before anybody else and dedicated his expertise to helping him pursue his dream of playing in the NBA. 

The New Zealand product’s journey since the tragedy wasn’t linear. He experienced heartbreak and encountered empty-handed searches for someone who believed in him as much as McFadden did. He’s now attending his third school in three years but is finally where he was meant to be and in the right headspace.  

“The loss of Kenny has given him more of a purpose,” Stallworth said. “Tafara understood that Kenny believed in him and helped him get this far. But now he understands that it’s time to go out there, work hard and show Kenny that his time with him was worth it. He wants to make him proud and get to the highest level he can.”

Part of the equation for Maryland’s 6-foot-9, 215-pound junior is using the tragedy that used to consume his life as one of his biggest motivators. The other half is playing for a coaching staff that thinks highly of him. 

“Tafara has been very patient and understanding,” Willard said. “Sometimes his minutes haven’t been where he probably wants them, but he knows through practice that the way we work and the way our individuals [work] has proven how much confidence we have in him.” 

Gapare, who boasts a 7-foot wingspan, never expected to grow into a frame that NBA scouts drool over. But a growth spurt in middle school convinced him to begin taking basketball more seriously. 

He started waking up daily at 6 a.m. to work on his craft. However, Gapare’s love and success associated with basketball took off once McFadden chose him as the recipient of a scholarship funded by Steven Adams to attend Scots College, the NBA star’s alma mater.

In 2014, when he was 11 years old, Gapare received the first-of-its-kind scholarship and simultaneously joined McFadden's basketball academy. McFadden previously coached Adams and helped develop him into the fourth and most recent New Zealand-born player to be drafted into the NBA. He selected Gapare as the beneficiary because he drew similarities between him and Adams in how they approached their basketball training.  

What transpired was a unique player-coach relationship. McFadden became family, and Gapare devoted himself to being mentored by the accomplished coach. 

“He saw that I started doing the same things that Steven Adams was doing at a young age,” Gapare said. “Every maybe second weekend, my mom and I would meet up with him and do a progress check to see where I'm at school-wise, basketball-wise and with general stuff. We were really on the same page.”

Gapare developed trust in McFadden, believing he was the one who could unlock his basketball potential. Gapare’s mother also shared this trust. McFadden held Gapare accountable. He made sure the young basketball star remained focused on school, received treatment after practices and took all the necessary precautions to make him successful. 

McFadden later became Gapare’s high school basketball coach during his junior year, and the pair grew even closer. They remained connected even when Gapare, with the help of Smith, opted to finish school in the U.S. at South Kent — a private all-boys boarding school in Connecticut. McFadden watched all of Gapare’s games from home on YouTube and would tell him everything he needed to work on. 

“Kenny was a father to Tafara,” Smith said. “[He was a] mentor and father figure. Everything that I try to be, he was times 10. … Kenny was his trainer, teacher, father and mentor. He did everything, and that's all Tafara ever knew. When Kenny handed Tafara off to me, he handed me his baby, his pride and joy.”

Stallworth coached alongside McFadden in New Zealand. During their playing careers, they became best friends through training and playing against each other. Stallworth is another individual who played a prominent role in Gapare’s development. He shared a similar sentiment. 

“He was like a father figure and mentor,” he said. “He was always talking to his mom, watching out for him and telling him he was a student first, athlete second. … He was what Tafara needed. When his dad left, there was nobody in that space. Kenny filled that space.”  

Two weeks before his death, McFadden had planned to visit Gapare in the U.S. but never made it. Gapare remembers sleeping his day away after Smith conveyed the news of his death. Smith said he and his roommate were also supposed to return to school the same day. However, he extended their stay for another week, citing that he needed to be present and not send them back to school while hurting. 

“When Kenny passed away, he was lost,” Stallworth said. “He had Mo there as a mentor, but he used to come to Kenny about everything. Kenny meant so much to him. He was somebody that he cared for and looked up to.”

Gapare was at the height of his recruiting process when his coach died. His phone was constantly buzzing, with college coaches contacting him and others checking on him to send their condolences. 

Many people in New Zealand associated Gapare with McFadden because he was regarded as his next great prospect. But Gapare didn’t want to talk to anyone. He tried to put his phone away and figure things out alone. He admits that his handling of the situation may have tarnished relationships with a few college coaches.  

Gapare struggled with his loss. However, he had an epiphany and changed his attitude while visiting DePaul University. On the visit, he was with his mom, and the basketball coaches played a video for him projected in the film room. A former coach of McFadden was in the video, and he spoke to Gapare about his relationship with McFadden and what he had told him about Gapare. He was shocked but made a vow to himself. 

“I pulled out my phone and sent Kenny a text, even though he couldn’t use his phone,” Gapare said. “I said, ‘I'm going to do this for you and land amongst the stars.’ That's when I had to tell myself I couldn't just give up. I can't give up because he's not here anymore.”

The text Gapare sent referenced a quote McFadden frequently repeated — “Shoot for the moon. If you miss, you’ll land amongst the stars.”

Gapare took the next step toward fulfilling his promise and committed to UMass shortly after. However, his 2022-23 season with the Minutemen was met with more struggles. He appeared in 30 games, averaging just 3.4 points on 31.2% shooting in 12.3 minutes per game. His team also finished with a losing record. But above all else, he was isolated and still grieving his loss. 

The forward entered the transfer portal, landing at Georgia Tech for the 2023-24 season. An injury over the summer wasn’t a great precursor to his fresh start. Still, Gapare’s numbers slightly improved. He started 15 games for the Yellow Jackets but was nowhere near reaching his potential. He endured a second losing season and didn’t consider his situation a drastic improvement.    

“Going on to college, I think I just didn't have the right headspace,” Gapare said. “I didn't have the person to evaluate my game from another perspective. I think I was just stuck on the fact that he wasn't there anymore. [I was] trying to find somebody that I could talk to. That was a struggle for me because I closed my doors a little bit.”

Gapare entered the transfer portal again, which led him to Maryland in April. He described his destination in College Park as a “full-circle moment.” His first college visit was with the Terps on Dec. 31, 2021. Smith was on that visit. McFadden was supposed to be there but couldn’t make it. 

During the visit, Gapare took photos wearing a No. 5 jersey. It represented McFadden's jersey number when he played for the Wellington Saints. The New Zealand-based National Basketball League (NBL) team retired the number in 2010. 

When Gapare entered the portal for the second time, Willard and his staff contacted him multiple times, which proved to Gapare that they wanted him badly.  

“He’s a great young man,” Willard said. “You love being around him. He always has a good attitude. He always has a smile on his face. … I think he’s a pro. I don’t think he’s there yet, but I think he has the ability. He can shoot the basketball [and] he can put the ball on the floor. I just think he has unbelievable potential, and his character really helps him.”  

Gapare says Willard reminds him of McFadden. He shares his belief in his players through tough love during film sessions and one-on-one meetings. One of the things he constantly tells Gapare is to “Shoot the ball.” Comments like this critique his sometimes timid playstyle but simultaneously reinforce confidence. This approach has resonated deeply with Gapare. 

“[Kenny] used to tell me the same thing all the time,” Gapare said. “‘Stop being hesitant and have confidence in your shooting.’ Going back to him evaluating my game all the time, it's kind of the same thing as what Willard tells me. … The little things help me a lot, just so I know I got somebody telling me I’m about to make the right play, but I have to do it. With me, it's just a confidence thing.”

Tattooed across Gapare’s chest is an astronaut amongst the stars wearing a No. 5 jersey. The quote that has stuck with him — “Shoot for the moon. If you miss, you’ll land amongst the stars” — and the date of McFadden’s passing — March 24, 2022 — is inscribed in black ink as text to compliment the piece. The work of art is a tribute to McFadden. 

Before every game, Gapare walks under the extension arm of one of the basketball hoops. He then says the quote tattooed on his chest, prays and points toward the ceiling. The ritual is another tribute to McFadden and a reminder to Gapare of who he’s doing it for.

“God, don't make mistakes,” Smith said. “He put us through storms, trials and tribulations so that he shapes us. I think Tafara’s path shaped him into the man he is today. It was a process of him being built and dealing with the stuff that you have to go through to be as great as I know he's going to be. I think it shaped him into the strong mentally and physically man he is today.”